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the score

in my ears: The Spaces Contained in Each (2014)

Steve Roden and Stephen Vitiello

to listen, click here



be patient, joel. you should be enough


45 minutes from now

I hope to experience a feeling of elation

though I expect to, at some point, be disoriented

uncomfortable and impatient.

I might ramble.

I might wobble.

I might want to end too soon…

[Be patient, joel]


this is for me, not you, or can it be for both of us


Slow, contemplative

Finding space, rooting

Be in the room.

No really, just be in the room.


There is something satisfyingly terrifying not being able to see you


Steve Roden and Stephen Vitiello built clouds for me to be in.

Sounds to be swallowed by.

Noises to move toward…and away from.

My viscera…breathing, trembling, sinking, reconfiguring

carving like water filling a…

Notice when/where I’m holding, soften.

Slight punctuations give weight to images making meaning

Honor your impulses 

Build energetically, but not too much too soon…

[Be patient, joel]


13 minutes have passed by…

I can sip the sweat collecting beneath my mask,

it’s suffocating.


This next part makes me dizzy.

Circumventing : or : surrounding : or : resisting

Spinning [even though I get vertigo]

Restless, fidgety


Is it worth it?

Don’t Stop.

You’re not allowed to stop.

you won’t get there but you’ll want to keep going

leaving the past, taking the future with you

queer, towards infinity,

for rest, for space, eventually.

Don’t press, but keep fucking going 

Or, fucking keep going.

[Be patient, joel]


Find the ground.

Spread your weight.

Spread your legs.

Make them gawk

Make them wait.

You’re such a fucking tease.

Tweak those hips.

Bite your lips.

Find the betweenness, 

Be the tweenness.

Take your time,

Make them whine,

Take that d.

Take that d.

Take that d.

To your knees

To your, please 

to standing

to your senses.

Repeat if you need.

Repeat if you want.

Do you what you fucking want.

Rest here for a bit.

Rest. Here. For a bit...


15 minutes left…(5 minute intervals)

Make sense of things.

What can five minutes be?

Beginning : Middle : End (maybe the first one) 

Contemplative, detailed, structured, repetitive...

High tension. Low impact. 

Use your words

Find your verbs.







Complexify (that's not a word)

Be Impulsive
Shape those impulses

To our futures

2 more times

Do it again

Do it again

[Be patient, joel]

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